With encore weddings (where one member of the couple has been married before) representing approximately 40 percent of all weddings today, it is time we reconsider tired, old etiquette rules, because most just don't apply to the way we live today.
According to a popular online second wedding guide, aptly named I Do Take Two, the first consideration should be the children, if there are any, and their comfort level and concerns. If there are children involved, they should be informed before others about the wedding and considered in the planning process. Inviting children to play a part in the ceremony is not only appropriate, but can also be a bonding experience. After all, this ceremony joins two families. Lighting a family unity candle is a wonderful idea to emphasize this.
Appropriate Roles for Children
a. Pass out wedding programs
b. Guest book guardians
c. Escorts for the bride Bridesmaids and groomsmen (adult children)
d. Jr. Bridesmaids, ushers and candle lighters (ages 9-15)
e. Flower girls, ring bearers and pages (ages 4-8)
Note: Please discuss these roles privately with your children and allow them to decide if they want to be involved.
Note: One usher per fifty guests.
So, what are the rules? The number one rule for all couples is to plan together. Perhaps former weddings were based on other's ideas of the perfect wedding. Well, today it is all yours. Your wedding can be formal or informal, large or small, and include any element of a first wedding you wish.
The bride can wear any color and any style that suits her age and figure. Veils and trains are now appropriate if part of the gown - but, no blusher veils. The couple may include multiple attendants. (See note above) Showers are fine, but should be small and intimate. Don't expect gifts from guests who attended the first wedding, though they may want to bring a small gift. Do not host the event in the same location as the first. Do not wear rings from former relationships. No former spouses unless agreed upon definitely by both bride and groom. It is confusing and puts others in an uncomfortable position. Are gifts appropriate? Yes! Gifts are appropriate for encore couples, so it's perfectly acceptable to register. However, those who attended former weddings and showers are not obligated to give a gift. Gifts should never be mentioned on wedding invitations. Register for gifts in a variety of price ranges.
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Learn more about second weddings and vow renewals at http://www.idotaketwo.com
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
Finding the Wedding Dresses Used in Bride Wars with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway
Bride Wars' costume designer chats about choosing the perfect wedding dresses for Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson.
Natalie Broulette, Jan 05, 2009
Finding a wedding gown can be the most challenging shopping experience of a woman's life, so just imagine choosing two gowns for two A-list actresses. Costume designer Karen Patch was faced with that difficult task on the set of Bride Wars. We chatted with Karen to learn more about choosing those bridal gowns, the look of Bride Wars and dressing Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway.
Natalie Broulette: Can you tell me about working with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway? How are their characters different, and does that come through in their wardrobes?
Karen Patch: When I began my research into Kate and Anne's characters, I kept in mind something the director Gary Winnick said to me: "Although both girls were lifelong best friends, they were really quite different from one another." I wanted Kate's character, Liv, to look tailored but with a feminine approach -- soft, pretty blouses; pencil skirts; suits that are body-conscious. She plays a young lawyer but she is not in a courtroom. Her look was professional and fashionable, not too serious -- someone who likes clothes. I think her character is confident, doesn't procrastinate and likes being in charge. Anne as Emma on the other hand likes color, patterns, florals and is a bit more experimental and creative. She puts pieces together in her own way and mixes old and new, inexpensive with expensive (gifts from Liv). She wears vintage slips at home with cardigans. There is a reversal over the course of time where Anne's character becomes more assertive and Kate's more vulnerable.
NB: What inspired your costume choices for Anne and Kate?
KP: It always begins with the research and character development. I looked at bridal magazines and spent time in bridal stores watching brides come in with their mothers and try on gowns. Conversations with the director, the actors, production designer, cinematographer regarding color -- all these elements factor into what shapes the final result. I put together inspiration boards and notebooks of color palettes, fabric swatches, sketches and any artwork or books that inspire.
NB: What designers and stores did you use?
KP: For Anne I chose Marc Jacobs, Lavendar Label Vera Wang, Theory, Coach, J.Crew, Prada, Calypso. Jewelry: Helen Ficalora, Wendy Culpepper and Ice. Kate wore Chanel, D&G, Hugo Boss, Tods, Marchesa, Burberry, Stella McCartney, Club Monaco. Jewelry: Tiffany. Many jean and t-shirt lines including Seven, Hudson, William Rast and Rag and Bone.
NB: What were some of the challenges you faced during filming?
KP: Before choosing the wedding gowns, I had to begin at the end. That is, what could I do to distress the gowns over and over? I needed many gowns for the stunts and we were faced with time constraints. Each gown takes weeks to make. They were being made and shipped right up until the last minute.
NB: Tell me about the bridal gowns used in the film. How were those chosen and what designers are they by?
KP: I wanted Kate's character to look like the bride on top of the wedding cake ... all confection, Vera Wang and Tiffany -- every little girl's dream wedding. I wanted Anne's character to be more nostalgic. Her dress was supposed to be her mother's and held sentimental value. Both dresses were made by Vera Wang. Kate's was based on a dress Vera had in the collection for 2009, but I asked for some changes and they were kind enough to accommodate -- different fabric and more layers of bobbinette. It was so big she could barely fit going down the aisle.
Natalie Broulette, Jan 05, 2009
Finding a wedding gown can be the most challenging shopping experience of a woman's life, so just imagine choosing two gowns for two A-list actresses. Costume designer Karen Patch was faced with that difficult task on the set of Bride Wars. We chatted with Karen to learn more about choosing those bridal gowns, the look of Bride Wars and dressing Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway.Natalie Broulette: Can you tell me about working with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway? How are their characters different, and does that come through in their wardrobes?
Karen Patch: When I began my research into Kate and Anne's characters, I kept in mind something the director Gary Winnick said to me: "Although both girls were lifelong best friends, they were really quite different from one another." I wanted Kate's character, Liv, to look tailored but with a feminine approach -- soft, pretty blouses; pencil skirts; suits that are body-conscious. She plays a young lawyer but she is not in a courtroom. Her look was professional and fashionable, not too serious -- someone who likes clothes. I think her character is confident, doesn't procrastinate and likes being in charge. Anne as Emma on the other hand likes color, patterns, florals and is a bit more experimental and creative. She puts pieces together in her own way and mixes old and new, inexpensive with expensive (gifts from Liv). She wears vintage slips at home with cardigans. There is a reversal over the course of time where Anne's character becomes more assertive and Kate's more vulnerable.
NB: What inspired your costume choices for Anne and Kate?
KP: It always begins with the research and character development. I looked at bridal magazines and spent time in bridal stores watching brides come in with their mothers and try on gowns. Conversations with the director, the actors, production designer, cinematographer regarding color -- all these elements factor into what shapes the final result. I put together inspiration boards and notebooks of color palettes, fabric swatches, sketches and any artwork or books that inspire.
NB: What designers and stores did you use?
KP: For Anne I chose Marc Jacobs, Lavendar Label Vera Wang, Theory, Coach, J.Crew, Prada, Calypso. Jewelry: Helen Ficalora, Wendy Culpepper and Ice. Kate wore Chanel, D&G, Hugo Boss, Tods, Marchesa, Burberry, Stella McCartney, Club Monaco. Jewelry: Tiffany. Many jean and t-shirt lines including Seven, Hudson, William Rast and Rag and Bone.
NB: What were some of the challenges you faced during filming?
KP: Before choosing the wedding gowns, I had to begin at the end. That is, what could I do to distress the gowns over and over? I needed many gowns for the stunts and we were faced with time constraints. Each gown takes weeks to make. They were being made and shipped right up until the last minute.
NB: Tell me about the bridal gowns used in the film. How were those chosen and what designers are they by?
KP: I wanted Kate's character to look like the bride on top of the wedding cake ... all confection, Vera Wang and Tiffany -- every little girl's dream wedding. I wanted Anne's character to be more nostalgic. Her dress was supposed to be her mother's and held sentimental value. Both dresses were made by Vera Wang. Kate's was based on a dress Vera had in the collection for 2009, but I asked for some changes and they were kind enough to accommodate -- different fabric and more layers of bobbinette. It was so big she could barely fit going down the aisle.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Picking the Right Wedding Gown
The wedding gown is usually one of the first purchases made for a wedding. Before choosing a gown though, you should decide the kind of a wedding you are having. You should also determine a budget. These things will affect the type of dress that you select.
The dress should complement the other decisions that have been made. In other words, if the wedding will be small and intimate with only a few guests, an elaborate gown with flowing train will be out of place. If you will be kneeling during your wedding ceremony, you may want to avoid a sheath gown, since the skirt may be too tight to allow you to bend your knees.
When you go shopping for the gown, take only one or two people with you and be sure to dress appropriately. You should wear or take along nylons, a strapless bra, and appropriate shoes. Be careful about wearing make-up, particularly lipstick or lip gloss, when trying on dresses, since they stain easily.
Most bridal shops carry each style of gown in only one size. Therefore, if you find a dress that you like, but it doesn't fit, it will need to be ordered, and that can take as long as 4 months. Also, be sure that the shop does alterations. The alterations should be done about two weeks before the wedding. Some shops charge for alterations, so be sure to ask. When attending an appointment for alterations, be sure to wear the shoes and the undergarments that you will wear with the gown so that it can be altered correctly.
It may be helpful to take a camera along when trying on gowns. You can take pictures of your favorite gowns at each shop, and then compare the pictures to help remember the details of each dress and decide which one is right for you. Some shops do not allow their gowns to be photographed, so you should ask before taking any pictures. You may have to assure them that you will not use the photo to have a seamstress make a similar gown.
If you have a tight budget, you might choose to rent rather than buy the gown, or purchase a used gown. Some bridal shops have an option to rent gowns. If you can find the right dress, this maybe a good way to go. You will, however, need to reserve the dress well in advance, particularly if it is a popular style.
A used gown may be a better choice than a rented one, especially if the rented dress has been worn numerous times and the used one worn only once. Former brides who broke their engagement often sale their dresses to resale shops and classified ads. You can find a new, never-worn dress for a fraction of the original price.
If your mother, grandmother, or a friend has a gown that you particularly like, you might ask to borrow it. If you enjoy antiques or old clothing, vintage gowns dating back as far as the Victorian era can be purchased in retro clothing shops and on the Internet. Also, if your family has close ties to its national origins, a gown from that culture can be very striking and unusual. Some brides choose to wear a traditional western-style gown for the ceremony, then change to a national dress for the reception. Likewise, some men choose to wear kilts or other ethnic dress for either the ceremony, the reception, or both.
The dress should complement the other decisions that have been made. In other words, if the wedding will be small and intimate with only a few guests, an elaborate gown with flowing train will be out of place. If you will be kneeling during your wedding ceremony, you may want to avoid a sheath gown, since the skirt may be too tight to allow you to bend your knees.
When you go shopping for the gown, take only one or two people with you and be sure to dress appropriately. You should wear or take along nylons, a strapless bra, and appropriate shoes. Be careful about wearing make-up, particularly lipstick or lip gloss, when trying on dresses, since they stain easily.
Most bridal shops carry each style of gown in only one size. Therefore, if you find a dress that you like, but it doesn't fit, it will need to be ordered, and that can take as long as 4 months. Also, be sure that the shop does alterations. The alterations should be done about two weeks before the wedding. Some shops charge for alterations, so be sure to ask. When attending an appointment for alterations, be sure to wear the shoes and the undergarments that you will wear with the gown so that it can be altered correctly.
It may be helpful to take a camera along when trying on gowns. You can take pictures of your favorite gowns at each shop, and then compare the pictures to help remember the details of each dress and decide which one is right for you. Some shops do not allow their gowns to be photographed, so you should ask before taking any pictures. You may have to assure them that you will not use the photo to have a seamstress make a similar gown.
If you have a tight budget, you might choose to rent rather than buy the gown, or purchase a used gown. Some bridal shops have an option to rent gowns. If you can find the right dress, this maybe a good way to go. You will, however, need to reserve the dress well in advance, particularly if it is a popular style.
A used gown may be a better choice than a rented one, especially if the rented dress has been worn numerous times and the used one worn only once. Former brides who broke their engagement often sale their dresses to resale shops and classified ads. You can find a new, never-worn dress for a fraction of the original price.
If your mother, grandmother, or a friend has a gown that you particularly like, you might ask to borrow it. If you enjoy antiques or old clothing, vintage gowns dating back as far as the Victorian era can be purchased in retro clothing shops and on the Internet. Also, if your family has close ties to its national origins, a gown from that culture can be very striking and unusual. Some brides choose to wear a traditional western-style gown for the ceremony, then change to a national dress for the reception. Likewise, some men choose to wear kilts or other ethnic dress for either the ceremony, the reception, or both.
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