What to Do About Your Wedding Vows

Wedding vows are more than just a declaration of love and devotion; they are a promise between the couple to honor at all times their commitment to one another. Whether a religious wedding ceremony or a non-religious wedding ceremony, that pledge is expressed through the wedding vows. There was a time when the wedding vows were more or less set in stone. Those days, however, are gone.

Traditional Vows

Traditional wedding vows provide a time honored and revered way to exchange vows. These are likely the same wedding vows used by your parents, grandparents and other ancestors throughout the generations. There's a special sense of continuity and connectedness in knowing you're using those same words and that some day, so too may your children.

Religious weddings vary according to the specific religion. However, in general, vows are exchanged in one of two ways. The officiant can pose the vows as a question, to which the bride and groom answer "I do"

"Do you (name) take (partner's name) for your lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?"

Should the couple choose this option they may wish to express their commitment during the exchange of the wedding rings.

Or the couple can state the vows for themselves or repeat them after the officiant:

"I (name) take you (partner's name) for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."

There are many variations of these words. However the underlying theme of commitment to one another throughout good times and bad times remains constant. The examples listed below are the most common for their respective religions. You can use the Wedding Vows Worksheet to record the exact wording that will be used.

Catholic

"I, _____, take you, _____, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

Episcopal

"In the name of God, I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

Presbyterian

"I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live."

Protestant

"I, _____, take thee, _____, to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith."

Quaker

"In the presence of God and these our Friends, I take thee to be my wife/husband, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live."

Unitarian/Universalist

"I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always."

Interfaith

"I,_____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

Nondenominational

"_____, I now take you to be my wedded wife/husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy relationship of marriage. I promise to love and comfort you, honor and keep you, and forsaking all others, I will be yours alone as long as we both shall live."

Ring Vows

At most wedding ceremonies, the exchange of rings immediately follows the recitation of vows and serves to seal those promises. The ring symbolizes the unbroken circle of love, and at many ceremonies, more vows are spoken as rings are exchanged. In some cases, the bride receives a ring during the ceremony but the groom does not, as at Orthodox and some Conservative Jewish weddings. For many weddings, couples choose the double-ring ceremony, wherein both the bride and groom give and receive rings.

The following customs are the most common for their respective religions.

Catholic - After the priest blesses the bride's ring, the groom places it on her finger. After the priest blesses the groom's ring, the bride places it on his finger. Each says: "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Take and wear this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness."

Episcopal - The groom places the ring on the bride's finger and says: "____, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." If the wedding is a double-ring ceremony, the bride does the same.

Jewish - The groom says: "Harey at mekuddeshet li B'taba'at zo k'dat Moshe V'israel," which means, "Behold, thou are consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel." Then the groom places the ring on the bride's finger. If the wedding is a double-ring ceremony, the bride recites the same words (with changes for gender) and places the ring on the groom's finger.

If you are having a religious ceremony with traditional vows, there is still room for input. Read through the customary vows to make sure you find nothing contradictory with your beliefs, such as things that you think are outdated or sexist. Consider inserting special readings or poems. Sometimes family and friends are invited to read scriptures or poetry.

Self-Written Vows

Many brides and grooms write their own vows. Writing your own wedding vows allows you to express your commitment and love for your partner in your own words. While traditional vows given at a religious wedding ceremony are great for some couples, they aren't personal enough for others. Writing your own wedding vows is also an ideal choice for couples having a non-religious wedding ceremony.

Writing and saying your own wedding vows is a very moving and intimate way to express your feelings for one another. It gives your wedding ceremony a special uniqueness not common to every wedding. However before you can express your feelings you must identify them. Talk to your partner about your marriage, beliefs, hopes and dreams. Use this conversation as the basis of your wedding vows (take notes).

Here are some questions to get you started:

*What are the strengths or special qualities of your relationship?
*What hopes, dreams and goals do you share?
*When did you realize he/she was the one?
*What have you learned from one another?
*What traits about your partner inspire you? Why?
*What are the special moments of your relationship thus far?
*What aspects of married life do you look forward to with your partner?

Once you have a foundation, start writing your wedding vows. Keep in that mind during your vows you must state your promise to remain committed to your partner and that you take them as your spouse. A line of this type is required to ensure your wedding vows are legally binding.

There are other points to consider when writing your wedding vows:

*Your wedding vows should be no longer than 3 minutes.
*The words should come from the heart - be open and sincere.
*Decide whether each of you will recite the same or different vows.
*Include your guests by having them respond with their blessings and support.
*Include proverbs, quotes or poetry if you feel it adds to your vows.
*Read the vows aloud to catch any errors.
*Re-write as necessary, but not too much - the vows don't need to be perfect, just personal.
*Discuss your wedding vows with your officiant - they can check that the vows are legal or offer suggestions if you need help.

Plan Wedding Online for Cheap

With today's economy people can not afford the weddings that they could just a few years ago. The national average cost of a wedding was $21,814 last year, down 24% compared with 2007, when a wedding averaged $28,704, according to data from The Wedding Report, a research company that tracks the industry. In 2009, the cost of the average wedding is expected to be down another 10%.

People who need to find a way to get married for less are finding the web as a valuable resource for finding a wedding of their dreams that still fits within their budget.

Sara Cotner used the Internet extensively while planning her wedding last year, a celebration that had a budget of $2,000 so that she and her husband could close on a new home shortly after getting married. Their planning process was chronicled on her blog, 2000 Dollar Wedding.

BridalOnlineStore.com supports weddings on a budget with high quality and modern styled wedding dresses that people can afford.

Etiquette for Second Time Brides

With encore weddings (where one member of the couple has been married before) representing approximately 40 percent of all weddings today, it is time we reconsider tired, old etiquette rules, because most just don't apply to the way we live today.

According to a popular online second wedding guide, aptly named I Do Take Two, the first consideration should be the children, if there are any, and their comfort level and concerns. If there are children involved, they should be informed before others about the wedding and considered in the planning process. Inviting children to play a part in the ceremony is not only appropriate, but can also be a bonding experience. After all, this ceremony joins two families. Lighting a family unity candle is a wonderful idea to emphasize this.

Appropriate Roles for Children

a. Pass out wedding programs
b. Guest book guardians
c. Escorts for the bride Bridesmaids and groomsmen (adult children)
d. Jr. Bridesmaids, ushers and candle lighters (ages 9-15)
e. Flower girls, ring bearers and pages (ages 4-8)

Note: Please discuss these roles privately with your children and allow them to decide if they want to be involved.

Note: One usher per fifty guests.

So, what are the rules? The number one rule for all couples is to plan together. Perhaps former weddings were based on other's ideas of the perfect wedding. Well, today it is all yours. Your wedding can be formal or informal, large or small, and include any element of a first wedding you wish.

The bride can wear any color and any style that suits her age and figure. Veils and trains are now appropriate if part of the gown - but, no blusher veils. The couple may include multiple attendants. (See note above) Showers are fine, but should be small and intimate. Don't expect gifts from guests who attended the first wedding, though they may want to bring a small gift. Do not host the event in the same location as the first. Do not wear rings from former relationships. No former spouses unless agreed upon definitely by both bride and groom. It is confusing and puts others in an uncomfortable position. Are gifts appropriate? Yes! Gifts are appropriate for encore couples, so it's perfectly acceptable to register. However, those who attended former weddings and showers are not obligated to give a gift. Gifts should never be mentioned on wedding invitations. Register for gifts in a variety of price ranges.

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Learn more about second weddings and vow renewals at http://www.idotaketwo.com

Finding the Wedding Dresses Used in Bride Wars with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway

Bride Wars' costume designer chats about choosing the perfect wedding dresses for Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson.

Natalie Broulette, Jan 05, 2009

Finding a wedding gown can be the most challenging shopping experience of a woman's life, so just imagine choosing two gowns for two A-list actresses. Costume designer Karen Patch was faced with that difficult task on the set of Bride Wars. We chatted with Karen to learn more about choosing those bridal gowns, the look of Bride Wars and dressing Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway.

Natalie Broulette: Can you tell me about working with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway? How are their characters different, and does that come through in their wardrobes?

Karen Patch: When I began my research into Kate and Anne's characters, I kept in mind something the director Gary Winnick said to me: "Although both girls were lifelong best friends, they were really quite different from one another." I wanted Kate's character, Liv, to look tailored but with a feminine approach -- soft, pretty blouses; pencil skirts; suits that are body-conscious. She plays a young lawyer but she is not in a courtroom. Her look was professional and fashionable, not too serious -- someone who likes clothes. I think her character is confident, doesn't procrastinate and likes being in charge. Anne as Emma on the other hand likes color, patterns, florals and is a bit more experimental and creative. She puts pieces together in her own way and mixes old and new, inexpensive with expensive (gifts from Liv). She wears vintage slips at home with cardigans. There is a reversal over the course of time where Anne's character becomes more assertive and Kate's more vulnerable.

NB: What inspired your costume choices for Anne and Kate?

KP: It always begins with the research and character development. I looked at bridal magazines and spent time in bridal stores watching brides come in with their mothers and try on gowns. Conversations with the director, the actors, production designer, cinematographer regarding color -- all these elements factor into what shapes the final result. I put together inspiration boards and notebooks of color palettes, fabric swatches, sketches and any artwork or books that inspire.

NB: What designers and stores did you use?

KP: For Anne I chose Marc Jacobs, Lavendar Label Vera Wang, Theory, Coach, J.Crew, Prada, Calypso. Jewelry: Helen Ficalora, Wendy Culpepper and Ice. Kate wore Chanel, D&G, Hugo Boss, Tods, Marchesa, Burberry, Stella McCartney, Club Monaco. Jewelry: Tiffany. Many jean and t-shirt lines including Seven, Hudson, William Rast and Rag and Bone.

NB: What were some of the challenges you faced during filming?

KP: Before choosing the wedding gowns, I had to begin at the end. That is, what could I do to distress the gowns over and over? I needed many gowns for the stunts and we were faced with time constraints. Each gown takes weeks to make. They were being made and shipped right up until the last minute.

NB: Tell me about the bridal gowns used in the film. How were those chosen and what designers are they by?

KP: I wanted Kate's character to look like the bride on top of the wedding cake ... all confection, Vera Wang and Tiffany -- every little girl's dream wedding. I wanted Anne's character to be more nostalgic. Her dress was supposed to be her mother's and held sentimental value. Both dresses were made by Vera Wang. Kate's was based on a dress Vera had in the collection for 2009, but I asked for some changes and they were kind enough to accommodate -- different fabric and more layers of bobbinette. It was so big she could barely fit going down the aisle.

Are Chinese Online Wedding Dress Stores a Good Idea

Have you found it a challenge to get the wedding dress of your dreams in today’s economy? Many women are finding it harder and harder to afford the wedding gown they really want. This has led them to looking at lower cost alternatives. Online shopping for wedding dresses has become more popular. With the rise of online bridal gown sales, the introductions of Chinese wedding dress sites have cropped up. If you read the reports during the Olympics about fraud ticket websites then you know that Chinese websites are riddled with fraud.

Top 6 Reasons why not to buy from Chinese wedding gown sites

The first reason is the shipping can take months. You have enough to worry about with planning your wedding then to worry if your dress is going to show up. Knowing your wedding gown is taken care of and safe and secure in hand is one less worry that you don’t need.

Many women have found that the dress they thought they were getting from the photo is not the dress when it arrives. You are now stuck with a dress you didn’t order and not the dress that you have been dreaming about. Many Chinese wedding dress sites steal their photos from legitimate online stores and have no professional photos of their own.

Returns on Chinese made wedding dresses can be a nightmare. If you can get them to take it back it all you will still need to pay the overseas shipping rates. You can almost buy a new dress for what it takes to ship back a wedding dress that had tears, missing items, or the wrong dress all together.

Your wedding dress is a symbol of your new life you are starting. Many wedding gowns made from websites in China are of poor quality. The last thing you want is for your precious gown to fall apart. The extra money it takes to fix up your dress makes it not the bargain you once thought it was.

I have heard real people complain that they never got their dress at all. This is the ultimate in betrayal and a real problem with Chinese wedding gown sites. No part in your dream of a wedding starts with no chance and makes going with Chinese dresses a real risk.

The final issue is the overall language barrier. If you have ever been frustrated by talking to a customer service person from India, imagine communicating the right size and alterations with someone that doesn’t speak anything like you do. The language barrier makes it #1 reason why it is so hard to get the exactly what you want from a Chinese bridal dress shop.

Chinese wedding dress stores online are risky. Your best bet if you need to find an affordable high quality dress in your price range is to chose and American based online wedding store.

Cheap wedding dresses for brides on a budget

Wedding Dresses - How to Buy Dreamy Wedding Gowns Online

Wedding dresses are literally the icing on the cake on every bride's wedding day. You can find perfect wedding gowns online, or simply brainstorm which style of wedding dresses to start looking for as you narrow down your search.

First you need to determine which types of wedding dresses are right for you.

Your wedding dress should tell the world exactly who you are. After all, this is YOUR day, and your wedding gown is the key way that you share yourself with your wedding guests — and, of course, your husband-to-be.

By now, you've likely given some thought as to what kind of wedding you would like to have: traditional, informal or a theme wedding, perhaps.

Here are some general guidelines:

In formal weddings, brides generally wear long white/cream-colored wedding dresses and a veil, perhaps a train and, of course, gloves.

In semi-formal weddings, brides generally wear long white/cream-colored wedding dresses, a veil and gloves if desired.

In informal weddings, brides have more flexibility. They can wear wedding gowns of any color — short or long — or even a suit.

What about theme weddings? Here you should decide first on the theme and then on the formality of the wedding you've always wanted to have. Only then is it time to shop for wedding dresses and wedding accessories to determine which ones match your theme!

As you can see, the most important aspect to consider when selecting wedding dresses is your own sense of style.

For specifics on what's appropriate to wear for each type of wedding, I recommend Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, which devotes an entire chapter to wedding dresses and other fashion dos and don'ts, or Vera Wang on Weddings, in which Wang shares her vast fashion expertise with you as you plan your wedding. Both can be purchased from any major online bookstore and have great tips on buying wedding dresses.

How can you purchase wedding dresses online?

The Internet can be a tremendous help when you're looking for wedding gowns and have a tight wedding budget. And let's face it — most of us do have to keep the bottom line in mind when we plan the most important day of our romantic lives.

After you have given some thought to the type of wedding you want to have, I recommend that you:

• Look through bridal magazines and check out your options by flipping through the pages to see which wedding dresses are available in your area.
• Go to local bridal stores and try on wedding gowns.
• Look online to see what other wedding dresses are available to you. In case you're uncertain about buying wedding gowns from an online vendor, bear in mind that there really are online bridal shops that deliver the same level of service as regular stores.
• Compare the in-store price to the Internet dress stores to find out which is the better deal. Many online stores offer you discount wedding dresses because of their vastly reduced overhead costs!
• Narrow down your search to a handful of wedding dresses that make your final cut.

When you've gone through all these steps, you're certain to have accessed all the wedding dresses available to you -- and you will very likely save your hard-earned money if you end up finding discount wedding dresses available only from an Internet vendor.

Good luck with your search! Though it might seem daunting at first, if you follow these tips, you'll be well on your way to finding a beautiful range of perfectly elegant wedding dresses.